Understanding MLM Psychology: 5 Tricks They Use and How to Unlearn Them

If you've ever felt like you were the problem in your network marketing hustle like you’re not trying hard enough, not believing enough, not manifesting enough… let me stop you right there.

Multi-level marketing (MLM) companies like Arbonne, Beachbody (now BODi), Monat, and Herbalife don't just sell overpriced products. They sell a dream, weaponize psychology, and manipulate behavior in ways that are deeply effective, and often deeply harmful.

Let's unpack the five most common psychological tricks MLMs use to hook people in and keep them stuck, and how to unlearn each one.

Table of Contents

Love Bombing

"You're amazing! You're so inspiring! I just know you're meant for more!"

MLMs thrive on over-the-top praise and instant intimacy. It's called love bombing, and it's a classic manipulation tactic often used in cults and abusive relationships. In MLMs, this faux female empowerment creates an illusion of safety and belonging that hooks you faster than a Taylor Swift bridge.

Why it works

Human brains are literally wired for connection. Social belonging is a primal need that goes back to our cave-dwelling days when getting kicked out of the tribe meant death. Love bombing floods your nervous system with oxytocin and dopamine, the bonding chemicals that build trust quickly and make you feel like you've found your people.

The problem? This artificial intimacy isn't based on who you actually are. It's based on your potential value as a recruit and customer.

How to unlearn it

Start noticing when praise feels generic, exaggerated, or contingent on compliance. Real empowerment isn’t transactional.

Instead, rebuild connection through safe, reciprocal relationships where you can be your full self, not just the hustling girl boss version. You know, the relationships where you can show up in sweatpants and talk about your actual problems without someone trying to sell you a solution in a smoothie packet.

In Little Bosses Everywhere, journalist Bridget Read takes you on a wild trip down an endless rabbit hole of greed and exploitation, Little Bosses Everywhere exposes multilevel marketing as American capitalism’s stealthiest PR campaign, a cunning grift that has shaped nearly everything about how we live, and whose ultimate target is democracy itself.

Get the Book

This post contains affiliate links. I may earn from qualifying purchases.

Toxic Positivity and Thought-Stopping Clichés

“Your vibe attracts your tribe! Don’t be negative! If you’re struggling, you’re just not believing enough.”

MLMs weaponize mindset culture to shut down valid criticism or fear. Marketing materials are often used to reinforce these positive messages and suppress dissent among distributors. This is called thought-stopping: when a slogan or mantra is used to suppress critical thinking. Simply repeating claims from marketing materials can discourage critical thinking and perpetuate misleading narratives. It’s like intellectual duct tape.

Why it works

It feels better to believe that success is just a mindset away than to face the brutal math of MLM income disclosures and their statistical failure rates. Plus, self-blame feels more controllable than systemic exploitation. If it's your fault for not believing hard enough, then theoretically you have the power to fix it.

In reality, you can't manifest your way past a stacked deck.

How to unlearn it

Give yourself permission to think critically and feel uncomfortable emotions. Those feelings are data.

When someone hits you with toxic positivity, try this: "I appreciate that you want to help, but dismissing my concerns isn't actually helpful." Your spidey senses are tingling for a reason, trust them.

Sunk Cost Fallacy

“You’ve come this far—don’t give up now! You just need to reinvest and double down.”

The more time, money, and energy you’ve invested in your MLM, the harder it feels to walk away. This is the sunk cost fallacy: the belief that you have to keep investing to justify past choices. Most MLM workers have typical expenses such as starter kits, monthly product purchases, and event fees, which add up and contribute to the psychology behind the sunk cost fallacy. Even though the vast majority of participants lose money because actual sales rarely exceed the amount of expenses, many people stay because they hope their efforts will eventually pay off.

Why it works

It preys on our brain's need for consistency and avoidance of regret. Quitting can feel like admitting failure, and admitting failure can feel like admitting you're not the smart, savvy entrepreneur you thought you were. But if something is not working, throwing more time and money at it is not going to make it better.

How to unlearn it

Reframe quitting not as giving up, but as reclaiming your time and integrity. You are allowed to pivot when new information shows the path isn't what you thought.

Think about it this way: If you were at a restaurant and the food was terrible, would you order more courses just because you already paid for the appetizer? Abso-fuckin-lutely not.

We’ve all heard of Amway, Mary Kay, Tupperware, and LuLaRoe, but few know the nefarious way they, and countless other multilevel marketing (MLM) companies, prey on desperate Americans struggling to make ends meet. Selling the Dream “is an urgent and riveting exposé” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) that reveals how these companies—often owned by political and corporate elites, such as the DeVos and the Van Andel families—have made a windfall in profit off of the desperation of the American working class.

Get the Book

Manufactured Scarcity, FOMO, and High Pressure Sales Tactics

“This is your once-in-a-lifetime chance! Enrollment closes tonight! Don’t miss this promo!”

MLMs are masters of artificial urgency. They create false deadlines, limited-time offers, and emotional FOMO to trigger impulsive decisions. FOMO isn’t just used to sell you overpriced supplements, it’s also about climbing the team ranks. MLMs often frame their pitch as a unique business opportunity, using enticing earnings claims to attract potential participants and prospective participants. There is constant pressure to recruit new distributors, with recruiting new distributors presented as the key to success and higher income within the organization. They fuel FOMO by making you feel like you’ll miss out on exclusive rewards, status, or opportunities if you don’t work harder, recruit fast enough and hit the next rank. For most new distributors, these promises fall short, resulting in disappointment and financial loss. It’s the nightmare fuel only a never-ending Black Friday could provide.

Why it works

Scarcity increases perceived value. It's basic psychology. When something feels rare or limited, our brains automatically assume it must be valuable. Add peer pressure and social proof, and it's a potent cocktail that bypasses your rational brain entirely.

How to unlearn it

Practice pausing. Sleep on decisions. Set a 48-hour rule for any purchase over a certain amount. Remind yourself that anything truly valuable won't require urgency and manipulation to sell it.

If they're pressuring you to decide RIGHT NOW, that's not opportunity knocking, that's manipulation banging down your door.

Identity Enmeshment

“This business is who I am. My team is my family. My product is my passion.”

MLMs encourage you to merge your identity with the brand. Independent distributors and independent business owners are encouraged to see themselves as entrepreneurs selling the company's products. MLM participants and downline participants are incentivized to build a sales force and focus on selling products or services to retail customers. Your social media becomes a billboard. Your conversations become sales pitches. Your worth becomes tied to your rank and sales numbers.

This makes leaving feel like losing your self-worth, community, and purpose all at once.

Why it works

Humans crave meaning and belonging. MLMs exploit this by creating pseudo-purpose and tribal loyalty, often filling gaps left by other institutions. When your church attendance is down and your friend group is scattered, an MLM can feel like coming home.

But you're not a brand. You're a whole-ass human with interests, talents, and values that exist completely independent of what you sell.

How to unlearn it

Rebuild your identity beyond the brand. Who are you without the titles, hashtags, or products? What did you love before you started hustling? What makes you laugh? What pisses you off?

Explore interests that have nothing to do with productivity or profit. Reconnect with old passions. Cultivate self-worth that isn't performance-based. You don't need to earn your place at your own table.

From viral leggings to must-have apps, Dr. Mara Einstein exposes the hidden parallels between cult manipulation and modern marketing strategies in this eye-opening investigation. Drawing from her unique background as both a former MTV marketing executive and a respected media studies professor, she reveals how companies weaponize psychology to transform casual customers into devoted followers.

Get the Book

The Multi Level Marketing Companies are The Problem, Not You.

If you've been wrapped up in MLM culture, it's not because you are easily tricked. It's because these systems are expertly engineered to manipulate very human needs for connection, purpose, financial security, and recognition.

You wanted something better for yourself and your family. You wanted to believe that hard work and positive thinking could change your circumstances. Those aren't character flaws, those are hopes. And there's nothing wrong with hoping.

The problem isn't your dreams. The problem is a predatory business structure that exploits those dreams for profit.

With compassion, curiosity, and good support, you can deprogram and move forward. You can rebuild your relationship with work, money, and community in ways that don't require you to manipulate your friends or deny reality.

You already know what you need to do, you just need someone to believe you can actually do it. And I'm here telling you: you absolutely can.